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I never really believed in love but I did believe in power. Love never felt attainable, at least to me anyway. Power felt far easier to acquire. I didn’t grow up believing in the Disney fairytales even though my childhood nickname was Sleeping Beauty. I wanted to be strong and powerful not pretty or dainty.…
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My rose colored glasses have shattered. Nostalgia drained the life force out of me. I can no longer pretend that yesterday was better. My serious demeanor wasn’t a personality trait. It was a trauma response. My personality was informed by emotionally immature adults. No child should carry the burden of the adults around them. Something…
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There is a room where everyone I have ever met exists at the same time. It used to be so crowded. Age and forgetfulness have made it sparse. I used to care about everyone. But no one really cared about me Until I met you. This room used to feel suffocating. Now all I see…
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Note: This post was originally posted on my now deleted substack on October 31, 2025. I am currently taking college courses online via Zoom almost a decade after completing graduate school. It has truly been a humbling experience, as I am no longer the youngest person in the room. I have wisdom that I did…
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There’s nothing quite like it. The screeches from the New York City subway. The grinding intensifies then lulls. An endless sea of commuters, stone faced. Stoicism has nothing on them. I, too, have joined the commuting masses Feeling at home and like a stranger at the same time. Commuting is in my blood. I grew…
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I’m afraid to fall asleep because there is nothing left. No hopes. No dreams. No sign of a life well lived. Only nightmares. I can ignore the lies I tell myself during the day. Denial is easy. Just turn it off. No thoughts. No feelings. Ignoring the truth. But it’s different at night. My brain…
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My lungs are filling with water. Gasping for air, I reach out to you. The bond we share is too great. For this lifetime or the next. We haven’t been strangers for years Yet, I wish we were. It would be easier to let go of an unknown’s hand. But my identity is tied up…
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I wrote a rather ambitious list of twenty six things that I want to accomplish in 2026. Two have already been completed which means that I have twenty four left. Writing on this site is one of my goals for the year and I almost forgot about it. If I’m being honest, my brain is…
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I don’t think that I’m eloquent enough to capture all of the emotions that occur when someone you know dies. I’ve tried for the past seventeen years to understand my own grief and begin to understand the way in which grief impacts others. Needless to say, I have failed on both counts. Something that I…
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